


A Long Dream

by thedesconocido



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, For Me, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:00:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25937794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedesconocido/pseuds/thedesconocido
Summary: It's 2:14 AM, and it's the sixth time in a row Renjun wakes up at that time.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	A Long Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Mind the warning...

Renjun wakes up with a start.

He immediately looks up to the clock, and as he has predicted, it's 2:14 AM.

It's the sixth time in a row that he would wake up at this exact hour while facing the door with his dog barking next to his bed.

"Sssh, baby, it's okay."

He's not afraid, even though yesterday Jaemin told him that waking up at 2 AM and looking at a certain direction means someone is watching him. Instead, he feels tired. For the past three months and especially for the past two weeks, he can't sleep well.

His husband, a pilot that he is, has been constantly away, leaving him alone in a house too big for a man and a dog. The loneliness has gotten to him, apparently, as he's now starting to hear things.

"Baby?"

Renjun opens his eyes and gets up in a hurry. He's not afraid of ghosts and the like, and even if he's tricked by one into believing that his husband's home, he won't feel any fears nor regrets for getting out of his comfortable bed. He needs to make sure that his husband's really here, at home with him, even though it's at odd hours.

The door's opened, and there his husband stands with a fond smile, looking down at him. "Hey."

He leaps to his husband's arm, crying, "Oh my god, it's really you!"

"Yeah," Donghyuck laughs. "It's really me. I'm home."

His dog's barking at them, biting on his pyjama's pants, and Renjun laughs. This is what he has been missing--the presence of his husband and the loud barks of their dog--and what he has been needing, too.

"You're home at such an odd hour," he says, "wanna take a bath?"

Donghyuck nods, still smiling, but not saying a single word. Renjun doesn't mind the silence, because he understands how tiring it must be for Donghyuck to arrive home at this hour. Hugging his husband, he then pushes Donghyuck to the bathroom while he goes to the kitchen, preparing a cup of chamomile tea to help Donghyuck sleep.

Renjun doesn't remember when it started, but Donghyuck had read somewhere that chamomile tea could help him to have a better sleep, so every night since then he would ask Renjun to prepare a cup for him. It's odd to feel happy preparing a cup of tea while the shower's running, but it's been weeks since he last saw Donghyuck. He misses this routine, this normality--he misses Donghyuck so much.

Unbeknownst to even him, the tears are already falling. He stirs the tea in the cup without realizing that the shower has stopped running, and feels a bit surprised when a pair of arms sneak from behind him, circling his waist. Donghyuck rests his face on his shoulder.

"Hey, why are you crying?"

"I just," Renjun shrugs, "suddenly feel sad. I realized I've missed you so much. It's so lonely without you here."

His dog's barking again, and Renjun motions him to stay quiet. "What's wrong with him? He doesn't bark this much when it's just me at home."

"I miss you too," Donghyuck says, "so much. I wish I could stay home with you forever."

He snorts. "Yeah, right. We still have to work."

"I know. Please don't cry again, Renjun."

Renjun doesn't say anything, afraid that he would burst into tears if he opens his mouth. He's not usually easily moved to tears, but for some odd reasons tonight, he feels terribly sad. He wants to hug Donghyuck, clings to him, and never lets go.

"And thank you for making me the tea," Donghyuck says, "you know me well."

"Yeah, drink the tea and let's go to bed?"

Donghyuck shakes his head, and Renjun looks at him questioningly. "You don't wanna go to bed? Are you not tired?"

"I miss you," Donghyuck shrugs. "I can't wait another day to catch up on a lot of things with you. Can we do that now?"

"You wanna talk? At this odd hour?"

"At this odd hour."

Renjun turns his body around, holding Donghyuck's face in his hands, and stares into his husband's eyes. "Baby, are you okay?"

"I'm okay, but I miss you so much," Donghyuck says, pouting. "I really wanna talk to you all night. Please?"

Renjun looks at Donghyuck's face once again to get an answer, but when he doesn't get anything, he finally relents. "Bring the tea, let's talk on the bed."

"Promise not to fall asleep on me?" Donghyuck asks, teasing.

"I won't," Renjun says, surprised at how he really means it. "I promise."

Donghyuck brings the cup of tea to their room, and their dog's barking again when they're inside. Honestly, Renjun's getting tired of the loud barks. He knows Kumi is probably excited, but this is getting too much for 3 AM. The neighbors might wake up and file a complaint for loud noises.

"Kumi, if you don't stop barking I will have to make you sleep outside."

That seems to be effective, since Kumi immediately stops barking--even though he's still growling quietly. Renjun doesn't mind the growling as long as it's not barking. Aside from fearing that they would wake their neighbors at this odd hour, he also needs quality time with Donghyuck.

Speaking of which, Donghyuck's already on the bed, sipping the chamomile tea, and looking at him and Kumi with a fond smile.

"Why do you look so happy? You should be helping me with Kumi."

Donghyuck laughs. "I've missed this so much."

"Come here," he says, patting the bed, "come to the bed."

Renjun easily complies, throwing himself at Donghyuck, hugging him and sniffing the fresh smell of soap. He missed this, so much. He used to sleep hugging Donghyuck, making himself small in his arms, and being kissed on his head before and after he woke up.

"How have you been?" Donghyuck asks.

"I've been alright, most of the times," Renjun says, unconsciously rubbing his face on Donghyuck's chest. "But I've missed you so much. I haven't been sleeping well since you got busy these past months."

"Why?"

Renjun shrugs, hiding his face so Donghyuck can't see that he starts crying again. Donghyuck doesn't say anything but hugs him tighter and brings his body closer to him.

"I haven't been sleeping well, too. As I've told you many times on the phone, I've missed you. I wish I could sleep next to you every night, not alone in a hotel."

"How have you been, then? How's work?"

"It's great," Donghyuck says, "I think I'm going to be promoted soon. I can have less flying schedule."

Renjun perks up, looking at Donghyuck with wide eyes. "Really?"

"Really," Donghyuck kisses his forehead. "I will be with you more often."

"That's great baby," Renjun laughs. "I would be so happy if you're home more often."

"You're happy because you could order me around again?"

Renjun playfully smacks Donghyuck's chest and laughs when his husband fake screams. "That, and because I want you around. I even need you around."

Donghyuck stares at him, moving the hair from his face. Renjun used to get angry when he does that, because he doesn't like seeing his forehead, but Donghyuck would kiss it and tell him he's beautiful.

"You're beautiful."

"I know," Renjun says, joking, "kiss me."

Donghyuck turns their body around, placing himself on top of Renjun and kisses his face.

"I've missed your eyes, your nose, your lips."

Renjun holds his breath, trying hard not to cry when Donghyuck's on top of him. "I've missed you too," he says quietly.

Donghyuck lowers his body, resting it on top of Renjun's, and starts kissing Renjun's neck. His hands start to wander, slowly unbuttoning Renjun's pyjama.

"Baby," Renjun says, "Kumi is in the room."

"Let him see," Donghyuck says, "I need you."

Renjun gulps, pushing Donghyuck's body a little, and starts unbuttoning his own pyjama. "Okay," he says, "get undressed."

Donghyuck immediately sits up, undressing himself, and Renjun does the same. When they're completely naked, Donghyuck pulls the blanket on their bodies and positions himself to be on top of Renjun again.

"You're so beautiful," he says, "do you know that?"

Renjun doesn't answer, instead cupping Donghyuck's face with his hands, and pulls him closer to kiss him.

Donghyuck's lips are plump and soft, Renjun would lightly bite the lower lip and give it a light suck all while rubbing their noses together.

"Do it again," Donghyuck says, "rub our noses together."

Renjun laughs and does it again, giving light pecks to Donghyuck's lips. "Baby," he says, "prepare me?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

Renjun kisses him again, to shut him up, and he turns their body around. Lying on top of Donghyuck, Renjun slowly moves his hips, smiling teasingly at his husband who's slowly losing his breath.

"You know what," he says, "you could lie down tonight. I'll take care of you."

"How generous," Donghyuck smiles. "Kiss me?"

"You always ask for kisses."

"I love kissing you."

And who's Renjun to deny that? Lowering his body, he kisses Donghyuck, and trails down to his chest, up to his neck and ear. He knows Donghyuck's weak spot, he knows just how to push his buttons.

He lightly bites Donghyuck's earlobes, breathes onto the skin, and kisses the spot right under Donghyuck's ear.

"Baby," Donghyuck groans, and he quietly smiles in victory.

"Yes?"

Renjun kisses the spot again, trailing down to the shoulders. He knows what Donghyuck wants, and he knows that even after five years of being together, Donghyuck would never ask. Instead, he would start kissing him, hugging him, telling him he needs him, and having Renjun ask for it because he knows Renjun's impatient.

But, for tonight, Renjun will be patient. Tonight, he will try to take his time.

"Baby," Donghyuck says again, "I…"

Renjun hums, still kissing Donghyuck's body. He knows Donghyuck wants to ask, but hesitates, because he's never good at voicing out what he wants. It's the thing that irks him out the most about Donghyuck. Because out there, he's always so vocal and loud, he wears his heart on his sleeve. But with him, he's always so careful and gives all the control to him.

"Say it," Renjun says, getting a little impatient again, "tell me what you want."

"You."

"I'm already here," Renjun says, moving the hair from Donghyuck's face. "What do you really want, baby? Tell me."

Donghyuck sits up, holding his waist, surprising him. He starts kissing on Renjun's collarbone, biting and sucking the flesh, leaving red marks on it and making Renjun moans.

"I want you," he says in between the kisses, "I want all of you."

"Have me," Renjun says, whispering, and kisses Donghyuck. "I'm all yours."

Donghyuck lays him down on the bed, trailing kisses all over his lithe body, and moves to grab the lube from the nightstand. 

Coating his hand with it, Donghyuck asks, "Do you use this lube often?"

"Every two nights," Renjun says, "to the thought of you."

"I would be angry if you're thinking of someone else."

Renjun laughs and stretches his legs wide, loving the strain he's feeling from it. "Then make me think only of you."

"This is cheating," Donghyuck says, pushing his fingers in. "You're driving me mad."

"I know," he says cheekily, biting his lower lip. "Give me two right away, I can take it."

Donghyuck holds his breath, and quickly inserts the second finger in. Renjun feels full, excited, but still he wants more. He _knows_ he can take more. Moving himself on Donghyuck's fingers, Renjun grabs the sheet below him, and starts moving faster.

"Baby, baby, I want you now." 

Not having to ask twice, Donghyuck removes his fingers and starts coating himself with lube. Renjun stretches his legs again, holding his thighs up with his hands, and Donghyuck hurries to push in.

"You're hot," he says, still pushing in, "I've missed this so much."

Renjun holds his breath, relaxing his body to take in Donghyuck. "I've missed you too, push slowly. We have time."

When he's finally in, Donghyuck starts moving slowly, and laughs when he sees Renjun's holding his moans under him.

"You don't have to hold your moans."

"Kumi's in the room," Renjun says, panting. "Can't taint his innocent hearings."

Donghyuck laughs again and lies down on top of Renjun, covering their bodies with a blanket once again.

"Can't have him seeing us naked, too."

"Silly," Renjun says, holding Donghyuck's body closer to his and wraps his legs around Donghyuck's waist. "I love you."

"I love you even more."

Their bodies move together, slow and fast, with Donghyuck kissing all Renjun's moans away. And when they cum, they're kissing, bodies pressed together.

"I think we need to shower again."

"Agreed, but I'm tired," Donghyuck says, grimacing at the cum sticking to their bodies. "Don't move, I'll get a towel to clean you up."

Renjun nods, not moving an inch while he waits, afraid to dirty the bed sheet. Donghyuck returns with a warm towel not long after, cleaning his body and helping him to dress again. Usually, he would drag Donghyuck to the bathroom to take a shower, but seeing that it's already 4:45 AM and they need to sleep soon, he doesn't say anything.

They lie down on the bed once again, with Renjun in Donghyuck's arms, and the lights dimmed. 

(His husband has always been afraid of the dark and unable to sleep with the lights completely off, so they settled with the dimmed lights that came with unique knobs. Renjun would play with it and sleep with dimmed lights every night, pretending Donghyuck's next to him.)

"Do you feel happy?"

"I am happy," Renjun says, "I am happy that you are home. Are you happy?"

"Very much."

Renjun snuggles closer, enjoying the warmth. "I can't wait for you to get that promotion. I really want you around more often."

"Me too," Donghyuck rubs his back. "What do you wanna do if I'm home more often?"

"Hmm, movie marathon," Renjun says, "you promised to watch horror movies with me. Also cook together. In fact, let's do it when we wake up later?"

"What do you wanna eat?"

"Pasta sounds nice and easy to make."

"We'll cook pasta, then. What else do you wanna do?"

"Grocery shopping together like we used to do. We're running out of food, anyway."

"We can do that when we wake up, too."

"Yes, and, we should paint together. You have promised me that, too. Last time you said you would do it the next time you're home. So do it."

Donghyuck nods and kisses Renjun's temple. "We will do everything you wanna do when we wake up."

"Even horror movies?"

"Even that," Donghyuck says, "we will do everything you want."

"Okay, I'll hold you to that."

Donghyuck hums, still rubbing Renjun's back, and they slowly drift off to sleep. Renjun tries to stay awake, to look at Donghyuck's face longer. He doesn't know why, but he still feels sad. Quietly, he cups Donghyuck's face to land a kiss on his lips.

"I love you."

"I love you, too," Donghyuck says, opening his eyes once again. "Can't sleep?"

Renjun shakes his head no, feeling sorry to his husband because he's aware of the time. It's nearing 5 AM. But Donghyuck doesn't say anything, doesn't protest, and holds his body closer.

"What do you wanna do, then?"

This is why Renjun loves him. He doesn't have to say much, and Donghyuck would understand. Donghyuck would do anything for him, the same way he would do anything and everything for Donghyuck. Even though the only words changed between them are _I love you, I miss you,_ and _I want you_ , they understand each other well.

Renjun always knows what Donghyuck's thinking, and Donghyuck always knows what Renjun wants.

"I guess I wanna keep talking to you until we fall asleep. Can we do that?"

"As I've said," Donghyuck says with a tired smile, "we can do whatever you want."

Renjun cups his husband's face again, and for some unknown reasons, he starts crying. He doesn't know why he's feeling so sad when Donghyuck's next to him, holding him, and making him feel so, so safe.

Maybe it's because the last time they were together, Donghyuck left so early in the morning when Renjun's still half asleep. Renjun didn't get to say goodbye, didn't get to kiss and hug him, and he's afraid it will happen again.

"Baby, why are you crying?"

"I don't want you to leave me half asleep again, when I can't say goodbye. That's rude, you know? Do you know how much I've missed you?"

Donghyuck wipes the tears from his face and nods. "I'm sorry. Next time, I'll wake you up, so you can say goodbye."

"You better," Renjun says, sniffling, and snuggling closer to Donghyuck's body. "When I said I need you around, I mean it. I really need you around. These three weeks without you feels like hell. I'm so lonely, sharing this big, big house only with Kumi. It doesn't feel like home sometimes."

"I'm sorry," Donghyuck holds him closer and kisses the crown of his head. "But if I woke you up three weeks ago, what would you have told me?"

"I love you, be careful, stay safe," Renjun says, "Come home soon, I'll miss you a lot."

"Is that all?"

Renjun slaps Donghyuck's arm. "Rude. I mean every word I said."

"I know, you're not the type to say something you don't mean," Donghyuck looks up at the clock, and Renjun follows his eyes to see it's already _5:15 AM_. He feels a little bad that he's keeping Donghyuck awake.

"But just so you know and don't forget," Donghyuck says again, "I love you, very much, and that will never change."

"I do too."

"Should we go to sleep now? It's late… early? And we're both tired."

Renjun nods and snuggles close to his husband. He says, "I love you, I love you, I love you." and closes his eyes.

🥀

Renjun wakes up with a start.

He immediately looks up to the clock, and as he has predicted, it's 6:30 in the morning.

The bell's ringing incessantly, and Kumi's getting restless. Afraid that Kumi would bark and wake up his husband that's deep in slumber, he walks out of the room to get the door, and most likely yells at the person behind the noise. Kumi's trailing behind him, and he holds his robe tighter to his chest, feeling cold from the morning breeze.

He peeks at the peephole and frowns when he sees Johnny, his husband's co-worker standing outside his door. He slowly opens the door, and Johnny takes off his cap as courtesy.

"Yes?" Renjun says, unsure, "Wanna come inside?"

Johnny nods, and Renjun opens the door to let him in. When they are seated, Johnny seems to be worried about something, so he asks again. "Not to be rude, but what brings you here so early in the morning?"

"I'm… here to deliver this letter. Please read it slowly."

Renjun takes the letter from his hand, ripping the envelope carefully.

_It is with great sadness that we inform you of the passing of Lee Donghyuck. Donghyuck passed away on Friday, 13 April while on a flight to..._

"No," Renjun says, "you have got to be kidding me. He's here, he's sleeping inside."

Johnny looks at him with pity. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"No, I'm not kidding," Renjun says, standing up, and Kumi's already barking next to him. "I'll go wake him up."

He runs to his room, holding the paper in his hand, and slams the door open. The room's dark, the light's completely off, and he rushes to open the curtains. There's a lump under the blanket, and he carefully uncovers them.

Donghyuck's not there.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry...


End file.
